Exams n snow n being a nerd and life in general

I hardly ever seem to blog now. Would love to say it's cos I'm extraordinarily busy but I kinda know that that's not exactly true. If killing time and not doing anything is being busy then hell ya i"m busy.... I'm the busiest person on the planet; watching old reruns and movies and new movies and just plain old junk on tv, facebooking and sleeping. That's the major part of my life...

I don't feel as much of an outsider as i did before... Woohooo!!! (N I just said woohoo ) but i wouldn't say I blend right in either... But in general I can deal with it...

Ever come to that place where u always saw urself in and then suddenly ur all confused or maybe it's not just as you expected it to be and u just don't know what to do? I think I'm heading that way... It's kinda like the calm before the storm.... I've been through it before kinda... but i've always found a way to deal with it before the stomr actually hit... Hope that'll work out this time...

Having no confidence in what you write is tough and I've also realised just how personal everything i write is to myself... While I have no problem with handing my papers into my professors, I still haven't gathered up the nerve to get a peer review. What am i afraid of? They already know that I' new to it and so won't be perfect but I'm just too scared to ask them to read it because I don't want them to judge me... Yet I know they don't... Not all of them at least... You can never plan on who's going to be your room mate or your friend when you come to college... You kinda have to let fate decide it for you... Has fate decided that i'm not the wild child I thought I was? that I'm actually the plain old boring nerd that i always was? I even won t shirt that says so.. "Be yourself... be nerdy.." is that me?? I didn't think so but apparently I am.... but i don't want to go back there to the point where i convinced myself that I was a nerd and then hit rock bottom when i realised that i wasn't as nerdy as i thought i was because I really wasn't diligent enough... But does being a nedr require you to be diligent? Or is it something completely separate? My roommate who's the last thing you'd expect a nerd to be is extremely diligent... Why can't i sit for four hours and finish my paper in advance without waiting till the very last minute? Why aren't i working on my final instead of writing on my stupid blog???

Man life is complicated... or maybe i just make it complicated...

It's almost christmas again... I love christmas... It's something in the air... N speaking of christmas, it snowed the other day... It was beautiful and romantic and just amazing.., I've seen snow before but never the snow falling... N it was so heavenly to be walking with the clean sheets of snow on either side and the wooden benches and bare trees and green trees all partially covered in snow... so peaceful and calm and white and serene and it's seriously indescribable... I hate the cold but snow makes up for it because it's so miraculous... I wish he was here, walking on that snowed up path with me and watching the beautiful night pass us by... Now that would be perfection...