Ironic

All the time that I've been in the states, I've been complaining about how I feel left out when I'm here because I'm different. Something odd happened today and now I don't know what to think about that anymore. The South Asian student association was having an 'event', food and a movie for anyone who was interested, including the club members such as myself. Because I couldn't make it for any of their previous meetings, I decided that I had to go for this simply because I could at least be around asians. I left the dorm at eight and wound up at the auditorium which was bustling with several committee members setting out the food and a horde of asians n non asians who had come to watch the movie n eat the focomtod. I made my way over to the two girls I knew, n said "hi" with a bright smile. They said "hi" back and smiled equally brightly. That was pretty much the high point of the evening for me as it went downhill from there. I spent a few minutes pretending to be useful, few minutes pretend texting and then ran into a friend who unfortunately was just leaving. At 8.15 after having looked awkward for as long as i could handle, I made a lame excuse about homework, (I did actually have work to finish for tmrw) n made my way out, while heaving a big sigh of relief to myself.

The odd thing out of the whole experience was, that two minutes after entering the room with my fellow humans from the aisan continent, I missed my friends. My american friends who I used to (n still thought) I didn't fit in with. I wished at least one of them was there so I wouldn't feel awkward and left out and not fit in.I don't know if i was feeling strange because they were asians who were just like americans but had different skin colour or because I was used to my friends and had (ironically) become a part of the group. Maybe it was a bit of both. It just goes to show that maybe skin colour really isn't that important after all. Especially because one indian chick got on my nerves in the short time period I was in her presence and I knew that if my room-mate to be was with me, we'd have laughed a silent laugh together at her blondness. It's ironic, suddenly I don't know where I fit in... Or I do, but it's quite quite different to what I assumed it was. Or maybe fitting in is something that is continuously growing and changing.