Hair

We were discussing the role hair plays in a woman's life in class today. It's a women's studies class and one of my favorites because there' a whole bunch of girls (who're very diverse and opinionated), two guys (who hardly utter a word) and a very enthusiastic professor. The perfect combination actually.
One girl (who I am now in awe of) shaved her head last year and her boyfriend dumped her because of it. I remembered both the times I felt like experimenting with my hair and did, and the response I received from my boyfriend who didn't seem to agree with the rest of the world that my hair looked good (because it looked nicer when it was longer and just made me look odd when i wore it kinda short). I remembered how ugly I felt, and unattractive and how I wanted to lock myself in my room till my hair grew. It was just hair; not a big deal. It's there to protect your scalp and suddenly it's become a deciding factor in a woman's life. I remembered how I begged my mum to let me grow my hair when I was a kid because people laughed at me and told me I looked like a boy because of my close cropped curls. After I hit adolescence, I never once felt pretty until I looked in the mirror and finally saw my hair pulled back in a pony tail; long and like a girl's.
I don't even like my hair half the time. It's unruly and frizzy and requires so much attention. It's funny how much time I would save in a day if I didn't spend time doing my hair. I can't shower whenever I want because I need time to wash and dry my hair. I'm constantly worried that walking out with wet hair in the cold will bring on a cold which will lead to an asthma attack. I'm constantly worried about whether my wet hair will dry out and begin to frizz before I get to a mirror. Every time the wind blows, I can feel a freezing draft embrace my scalp. When I wear my hoodie, I'm not satisfied until I've found some place to look at my reflection on so that I can fix my hair. When I'm out, I spend a majority of the time in the bathroom fixing my hair. Creating an outfit to go out at night isn't the least bit difficult buti spend days wondering what I should do with my hair. The two times I've blow dried my hair was spent worrying about when the effect would wear off and my hair would start frizzing again. I;m not alone when it comes to hair trouble; it's something every girl faces and deals with whether she wants to or not.
But I don't want to shave my head or get it close cropped. I don't think I have the courage to do that. It would bring back too many bad memories from my childhood. Like the numerous times I used to wrap a long cloth around my head and pretend that it was my hair so I could have long hair like the other girls.
My hair's got a mind of its own. It does as it pleases and no amount of product, moisturizer or conditioner will tame it. People have suggested that i opt for rebonding, straightening or even relaxing it so it's tamer. I don't think I want to do that. My hair has special meaning to me.
My great grandmother had hair like mine (or so I've been told). She had African ancestors and her hair was a prominent characteristic that she had inherited from her ancestors along with her strong features (reminiscent of long ago African immigrants). I just have her hair. Just me. Out of the five girls in my generation, I'm the only one who has genetically untamed hair. I don't have slightly frizzy waves like M or P, dead straight locks like C or smooth wavy curls like S. I have frizzy, dry, wild hair. Wild hair that I inherited from my great grandmother. It reminds me that the world isn't as big a place as we think it is and that people aren't as different as they claim to be. We're all a mixed bunch of mongrels actually. Random patterns that have been picked out from a sea of genes that aren't unique to anyone person or anyone country come to think of it. I don't want to change my hair. Not right now at least.
This isn't a rant against the pressures put on women when it comes to their hair or about the difficulties of being a girl and having long hair. This is just a tribute to my hair.
It;s uncomfortable, time consuming,irritating at times. It makes me feel pretty and special at times. It's odd. There are so many emotions surrounding one's hair.... The impact made on my life by my hair is strange; difficult to deal with at times; hard to accept at other times; sometimes hated and sometimes loved. It's amazing. It's just my hair...