Stranger...

She laughs, she smiles, she tries to be everyone’s friend,
No day to day burden appears to weigh her down.
She’s joyous and floats through life.
Strict principles and well disciplined,
Standing up for what she believes is right,
Or at least, that’s what the audience sees…
Yet I know in my heart that it’s all a façade
I hide behind that stranger
The stranger so perfect, so confident,
The stranger on the road to definite success…
Would they really like me if they saw who I really was?
“Be yourself” such a simple phrase,
Yet each morning, despite promises made to myself,
The mask is worn again and yet again.
They see the careless stranger over and over again.
Why I wonder, why is it so hard to let people know what I really want
What I’m really like,
Who I really am…
Why am I convinced beyond doubt that I would be disliked, hated even
If they knew the real me…
Why is it that everyday,
A stranger goes about,
Doing what I’m supposed to do?


This is something I wrote a while ago, and back then I this is what I felt most of the time... However, I think i've come to a point where I've realized that it's time for me to emerge... Reveal myself.. N ya, it's something i think I should do every now n then but never actually stick to doing, but lets just say i've got a really good feeling about it this time...

There's no way that ppl will ever get to see the whole me, but the past few days, I have tried to accept myself for who I am...maybe i'm not the person I set out to be, but maybe, that doesn't necessarily make me not good a person... so i'm thinking, what the hell, maybe everyone won't love me but the again, everyone can't hate me either right? Life can't be thaaaaat unfair... At least i'm just hoping so...

i'm always great at making new promises to myself, but self made promises are the ones that i never stick to, so i'n hoping that this time, there'll be a change...

I was trying to figure out why I put on a facade in the first place, n the truth is that I have no idea.. Is it to fit in better with whatever environment i'm in? Am I like a chameleon who keeps adapting to each new situation to blend in? Or am I just using my jokes n sarcasm to avoid getting hurt? Get hurt from what though?