Sometimes I have to do what I have to

I have since of recent times, become single again. This was my choice, not the significant other's and he didn't have much of a say in it. The following is something that I itch to write and tell to everyone who feels that it's their job to remind me that breaking off a relationship requires thinking, shouldn't be done hastily and that it was a stupid thing to do because they can't imagine me without him.

To everyone who is convinced that they know what's best for me,

Yes. You're my friend and yes you know me. But right now, I don't need to you judge me or tell me I did something wrong or that I should think again. The fact that you think I need to do all that means that you're not close enough to me to know that I was thinking about this for a long time, that I did worry and fret over it for over a month and that this is the right thing for me. Because my friends knew (not everyone, obviously but the very select few whose opinions are crucial to me when doing anything and whom I run to whenever I need a shoulder to cry on, or someone just to talk to). So if you didn't know all of this, then you're not in a place to tell me I did something wrong (even if you think you should).
I remember when we both fell in like and you "broke up" the thing you had with him, because of religion and two weeks later started going out with someone else. I don't remember telling you I thought it was wrong. It' s your life and your decisions. I was happy that you found someone you could be happy with. I can't say I admire him and I have to say that I thought you deserved better (but knowing how much I hate it when people know better, I was genuinely happy for you).
And yes, on the outside, we did look perfect. But that doesn't mean it was an happinly ever after either. Despite the fact that we were good together, it wasn't always easy to be good together and I don't believe in changing who I am, just so we could be "good together". You say you can't imagine Jane Doe without him. All I can say is you got it all wrong or right (if you feel that's how I should be seen)... Because I want people to see me without him. For myself not for who's girl friend I am. Because I had a life of my own for twenty years and then suddenly I go out for a year and people can no longer imagine my life without him?!?! I don't get that. I have more to my life than just him so see me for everything else that I am. Other than his girl friend. The friend, sister, student, hard worker who you claim always takes your side. Why can't you take my side now. Without questions.`Or maybe you don't need to take sides but can you at least not make me feel like I'm doing something wrong?
Somehow seeing this side to you, this side that seems to be trying to trap me into being someone I can't be anymore has made me reevaluate our friendship. I'm suddenly left wondering whether I want a friend who doesn't support my decisions. I don't mean that I want friends who agree with everything I say, because I have a very opinionated network of friends and supporters, but they still seem to respect my decision so you not doing that just makes leaved me feeling angry and even a little sad. Sad that you don't know me better, angry that you don't seem to place any value on what I want and what I think.
I hope this is a passing phase because I did have a good time that year we worked together and I did consider you a friend and now things are always going to be uncomfortable between us. Maybe I should explain the reasons behind my choice but it's unlike me to open up about how I feel and things that are extremely personal and close to me. Not face to face and not to people I know. There are a couple of people I run to whenever I need to break down and other than that, I am somewhat private and closed about most things. That's where we're not alike. Because I know you confided in me, a lot, whenever you had something troubling you. But I can't do that with the ease you did. That's just who I am. So maybe it's wrong for me to see your concern and worry as judgment on your part. All I know is, that somehow, I didn't expect this from you (or maybe I did and I was hoping I would be wrong).
I sincerely hope that things won't be as awkward as I think it's going to be but honestly, things don;t look to bright right now.
A disappointed Jane Doe

I apologize about the somewhat morbid tone of this post but I got up this morning and the first thing I came across in my mail box was an e mail from a friend who is convinced that I've done the wrong thing and she sounded really disappointed in me and as if I hadn't lived up to her expectations. Writing back to her while fuming didn't seem right so the trusty journal blog will have to do. I guess at some point (most probably because I had to stop and go for classes etc) the post became more about regret (over how our friendship is going to turn out) than about being angry.